She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
FUCK WHALES
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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