I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
