I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
