yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
