is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
