I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize