thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just shotgunned beers for America
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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