I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
