I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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