I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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