He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize