Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
please come you make the beer taste better
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
