lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
