yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
