You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
