But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
