You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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