plz talk dirty to me
My balls are so social today.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
