I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize