Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will be naked everywhere
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
