A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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