he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize