Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
