Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
