are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
