It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize