i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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