Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
