also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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