Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
