Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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