I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
