so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
