oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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