Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
