Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
