I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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