did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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