Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
