She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
