my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
