omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
