Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
