white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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