I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
