I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
