If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize