Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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