I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
