Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
