he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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