Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
