i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
