It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
