Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
