Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
