i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
