Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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