So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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