You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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