JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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