you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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