He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
