sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
